When I was a young girl I remember my aunt scheduling her adopted infant. The schedule made him secure in his new environment. In spite of the naysayers, it made sense to me. I liked to know what was coming next in my own life so surely a baby did too.
There may not be a more sensitive topic among mothers. Perhaps because it is one of the first decisions you make as a new mom. Maybe because we feel validated when others do things the same or similarly as we do them. Do you "love your baby" and therefore feed them on demand (commonly known as Attachment Parenting) or do you "give your baby a complex" and schedule when they can eat and sleep? I think both of these common assumptions are ridiculous. I also think anyone who blindly and fully places 100% of their trust into any book or method besides the Bible and Jesus Christ is idiotic.
Faith was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old. It took little prodding on my part. She just did it and therefore I was sold on the Babywise method. I was an expert mother already. (Well, weren't you too after the first one? lol)
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| Me and Mercy at 5 months |
Cowboy was a pretty good sleeper from the start. He was receptive to some gentle prodding and slept through the night relatively early on. I do not know if I truly had a supply problem with him but I suspect that he may have lost the little bit of weight (that ultimately was the demise of our breastfeeding relationship) about the time he stopped nursing at night. Cowboy was also an avid thumb sucker so maybe that was a contributing factor as well. I suppose I can only speculate at this point.
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| My sleepy Cowboy |
When Clay Baby came I decided that I was going to have to be more relaxed with the whole scheduling thing. Realistically he was the fourth child and therefore going to have to be along for the ride the majority of the time. He is still on a schedule as he has been his whole life but things are different this time around than they were with the other children.
I learned something about God during this year of nursing that has changed the way that I parent. I hope you will return next Tuesday to learn with me along this bumpy ride we affectionately call Motherhood.
*Part 3, "What Nursing Taught Me About God"
*Part 4, "What Nursing Taught Me About Me"
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7 comments:
I read Babywise with my first, too! He's 14 now and sleeps great, but I'm not sure all my scheduling is the cause of that! My favorite way to "train" a baby to sleep is to do infant massage with oil and have the tub filled with warm water. Then keeping them secured at the shoulders, let their little body float. It takes all the tension from their tiny, drawn up bodies and relaxes them. I lay them down while they are sleepy but usually still just slightly awake and they quickly learn to just go with the relaxed feeling and let themselves sleep.
The beautiful thing about parenting, is we can adapt it to meet the unique needs of each baby! I'm happy to be along for this bumpy ride with you!
I think that every child is different and being receptive to each child and their needs is crucial to surviving the first year together. I am not a "schedule" person at all...you've probably learned that about me :) I just go with the flow of my baby and both times my children have both established their own schedules that I follow. I love this because it takes the stress off of me to follow what I "think" should be their schedule, which can often time lead to stress and disappointment. Using this "method" has in my eyes been successful based on that fact that both of my children were sleeping through the night by 5-6 weeks. I just have to add a somewhat related comment...I cry when I think about moms letting their newborn infants "cry it out". Even doctors who subscribe to this way of thinking do not recomend letting a baby "cry it out" until they are at least 6 months old. Babies simply do not have the capacity to be manipulative as a newborn. They cry because they want one of their basic needs to be met. So I say love on them, feed them, ect. and soak up that time with them, because those precious first days with your baby will be gone quicker than you can even realize it.
I never read Babywise but was told of the 'eat, play, sleep' pattern and we have used that a bit. I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and that was really good! We used his method with our second child and haven't turned back! :) Each baby has been different. I've been the nurse on demand mom, and the scheduled mom. For me, it depends on how old the child is :)
Bumpy ride indeed! But such a rewarding one! I followed bits and pieces of Babywise as well in a way that worked for our family. I've found it to be most helpful just learning about our little girl and understanding pieces of her personality that keep coming out just like you did! Such blessed children to have a mom who recognizes they are each different and that they haven't read the books yet :)
Visiting from Proverbs 31 Thursdays.
Thank you for commenting on my blog! I'm a new subscriber to yours...you have a BEAUTIFUL blog. I just love it!!!!
I have never heard of baby wise. One of the things that I have learned, and learned well, with our 8 children is that what worked for one has only a chance of working for another. I was on the path to driving myself nuts by trying to get each baby to follow the milestones and habits the babies before had followed. You would think that by number 8 I would have this whole "figure your kid out pretty quickly and get them on a great schedule" thing down pat. Little Man (now 11 months) showed me just how much I am not in control of certain things. LOL I have learned to appreciate the "wrenches" that God will throw into my life. There is just no telling what adventure each "wrench" is going to bring. :)
Rhen, that is so true! Thank you for sharing that even with 8 children you still have to take the time to get to know them. That is encouraging!
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